Questions and Answers

Why do teens kill themselves? Why do precious children pass away well before their time? Why would God rip someone's precious angel away from them at such a young age? Why do girls get their hearts broken by men, even when the relationship belonged to God all along? Why do my friends carry such painful burdens? Burdens like abuse, heart ache, death, guilt, regret, and loneliness. Life is supposed to be a gift right? If life is such a precious gift, then why is there so much pain? Overwhelming pain. If this is a gift, I want a refund. Even if one has the best day, there is pain masked underneath. Even if God does heal someone, it takes time, sometimes a lifetime. Why would God give us such a gift? Why can't we just skip the Earth part, and stay in heaven?

Catholics, Baptists, Pentecostals, Lutherans. We all believe in God, but everyone has their own opinion. Whose right? Whose opinion is right? Everyone has bible verses to support their opinions. When I went to IHOP I saw immense healing take place in people's lives. It was truly incredible. The room was filled with joy and laughter. Yet they were convulsing and speaking in tongues. Some say it was demons, some say it was God. Who is right? Being slain in the spirit? Is it real? Speaking in tongues? Is it real, or are people just trying to act more spiritual? Do prophets still exist today? Some say yes, some say no. Both have reasons to back up what they believe.

What should I do with my summer, my life? So and so believes this will be the best summer of my life if I do this, yet such and such believes that God is telling me to do this. Am I supposed to be a missionary? A conservationist? Am I supposed to train dolphins in the Navy? Am I supposed to go to bible college? If so where? So and so declares this is the best place, while others say that place it not biblical. IHOP, Rhema, EBC. The list goes on and on....

I have asked these question to many different wise men and women of God whom I trust. Searching for answers. Desperate for answers. My faith is exhausted. I am ready to give up. I'm hoping for someone to provide me with the answers I need. Some offer their opinions. While others say the opinions I just heard are wrong. "That person is crazy, don't listen to them!" I have heard read this book, read that book. Read theology. I have heard theories, that people believe might as well be facts. It has all pushed me further and further away from God. If everyone believes they are right, then how can so many right answers contradict each other?

I don't even want to believe in God anymore. I'm tired. I'm confused. I'm ready to give up. Graduating in 6 weeks and never more stressed. Deadlines approaching, with no answers. Friends with pain that are dying for healing. I am drained. Tears fill my eyes, and burdens fill my soul. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Desperate for an inkling of peace, a small piece of hope, of direction. Anything. Yet nothing.

Yesterday I was talking to a good friend, with all the same questions. And she gave me advice I haven't heard yet: pray and spend quality time in God's word. That advice seemed so refreshing and right compared to the mess of advice I have been taking. When you rely on people,you end up in a sea of confusion and chaos. For the past 3 months I have relied on everyone to solve my problems. Godly people, but people none the less. I wanted everyone else to answer and solve my hard questions. I might as well be Catholic because my relationship with God has been extremely indirect. The truth is you can't rely on people to help solve such deep issues. You must rely on God. As human beings we know nothing. We have hardly skimmed the surface of the complexity of life. The only source of truth we have is the word of God. Ask God. You cannot put full trust in a human being, because we are sinful and unreliable. You can't put your trust in theology, theories, and opinions. God might be behind all these, but he wasn't the original author. However he is the author of the bible. All scripture is God breathed (2 Timothy 3:16). You have to put your trust in God. Ask him your questions. If he gives you answers that contradict so and so's opinion, who cares. If it lines up with God's word and you heard it from God then believe it with all your heart. Who cares if it contradicts a famous Christian author's best selling book. It really doesn't matter. If you ask and he doesn't answer just yet, then wait. There is a specific reason why he hasn't answered your question yet. But he hears you. Maybe you haven't taken the time to listen, like myself. Take a day to fast and pray. Spend time with God alone. Seek the Lord your God with all of your heart. He listens. He cares. And he is passionately in love with you. His intention is never to leave you in a sea of confusion. If that's where you find yourself, take a step back, and ask him.

1 Corinthians 4:33 "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints."

Deuteronomy 4:29 "But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul."

Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."